July 31, 2009

Ignorance is Bliss

I hate being a musician sometimes.
John and I went to macaroni grill and sat down to dessert. there was a server there that would go around singing to different tables. I was in the middle of ordering my dessert when she started. As a professionally trained vocalist, I know a good voice from a bad one. at first i didn't realized the sound was coming from a real person. I literally stopped in mid-sentence and our server was staring at me, waiting for me to order.
it wasn't just any singing- oh no. it was BAD singing, and to make things worse, she was trying to sing opera- my specialty. I have NEVER heard "o mio babbino caro" so poorly sung before. She mercilessly edited the aria to fit into 30 seconds, sang it too fast, had awful intonation, poor technique and breath support. It was downright disrespect.
I could not not focus on the task ahead, so our server politely excused herself.
I winced at every high note this poor singer desperately tried to reach. meanwhile, my poor husband is laughing at my reaction. he thought the singer was bad too- (i have turned him into a vocal snob) but not to my degree. I was struggling with staying in my seat.
She traveled throughout the restaurant singing her ballads of death, and my ears continued to bleed. her last performance of the evening was the happy birthday song to some poor fellow in the back of the restaurant. It's a good thing we sat close to the bathroom.
my conclusion: the world needs to be introduced to real culture and talent, because It would save those of us with sophisticated taste from getting offended.
My dessert was delicious by the way.

July 29, 2009

My box of joy

I received a long awaited box in the mail today from My sister kara.
but it was not like any other box I have ever received.
here is the inventory:
2 pairs of shoes
mary kay samples for face, cheeks and eyes - Exactly what I expected to be in the box.
1 used tube coconut body cream from Bath and bodyworks

ok, she must have cleaned out her stuff and wanted me to look through it to see if I wanted anything. Cool.

2 bottles of used perfume
disposable garment shields- I thought my mom threw those in to be honest. She is always such a practical gift -giver.
flower shaped pendant
17 pairs of earrings
6 necklaces
10 bracelets
1 super cute watch
2 belts
and then it started getting weird…….
used chicken cutlets- (bra inserts that stick to your chest and give your silhouette oomph)
2 stuffed toys( the kind you find in happy meals)
2 used phones (one of them was mine)
empty personal lubricant box
(which i thought was just a clever way to use space)
paddle ball
Christmas ornament
strawberry Jell-o
banana Jell-o pudding
Used shoe deodorizer spray
Zip-lock full of skip-bo cards
old Bar of ivory soap
a Bunch of purple string
Booklight
Financial planning brochure
3 seashells
and wait….
What the Hell?!
A used jock strap complete with cup