Showing posts from January, 2010

now what?

I think in "blog" now. isn't that somethin?

I'm fresh out of hateful gossip, cruel childhood memories and humorous stories.
So i'm just going to give the information people actually WANT to hear.
I dunno, maybe after this post, someone might beg me to go back to the offensive swear-word swamped contention I am so famous for.

but for now, I'll stick with the UPDATES.

John just started his 2nd semester of his 2 year at ASU. So far, he's enjoying his schedule, which i am also enjoying. This semester's 16 credit hours are much better than last semester's 16 (lol) . He Is also working at the Tech studio on campus repairing laptops and such. Over the winter break he went back to work for CSC, the company that does the tech work for general Dynamics in scottsdale. General dynamics is a military defense contractor. he's such a computer whiz. I actually know who he is now! the last 4 months were so awful. 4 classes and 4 labs. Disgusting. And on top of…

Goliath Dolphin

I made my first real enemy on sunday. it was at church. the worst and most unlikely place to make an enemy.
I'm sure there are plenty of people that don't like me, but I normally don't care, and can be cordial to them.
I define "enemy" as being a person that doesn't like me, but that i don't like right back. 100 fold.
I stood up for myself when this person crossed me. I used to let people walk all over me. not this person. I declared my rights as as a human being to her face, and now, i swear i'm going to have nightmares about her, cause i can't stop re-playing it in my head.
i've already imagined a plot or two.

There she'll be, pulling into our empty covered parking space in a beat-up pontiac.
Wearing one of those faux fur capes she bought at a 50's specialty thrift shop. it's funny, imagine her being dressed more fabulous than she ACTUALLY dresses in real life.
She walks through our gate un-invited. i just Happen to be home alone…


I am a deep thinker.
Always have been. Always will be.
I think too much.
I get exhausted. my mind stays at 500 mph.
 I will think myself to death.
My therapist advises me: "meditate. focus on the now".
Daydreaming is an addiction, I tell her.


I don't know what it is; but it works.
rhythmic, stroke-like movements.
constant noise, blocking out all possibilities of thought.
 vibration of the handle buzzing in my hand.
 making straight lines in the carpet.
Thoughtless, instant gratification.
soothing. I understand now, why I could sleep through it as a baby
I just wish I had more carpet.