July 19, 2010

Dear big bird

Hi honey. I just wanted to say thank you for making my first trimester pretty wonderful. It'll all be over next monday- and you'll be 13 weeks old. You were such a surprise! I didn't throw up once, and my energy levels stayed at a functioning level, even though i did my fair share of complaining. I was pretty worried that you were just a figment of my imagination, and that you were not really inside my tummy, or that you didn't want to be there and decided to leave before you were supposed to. but you ARE! I heard your heartbeat for the first time today. it was SO STRONG. your daddy was smiling at me the whole time while we listened to the whoosing sound of your little heart. You did your fair share of kicking, too! I am so excited to start feeling you move around. I promise to keep you as safe in my tummy as best as i can. I hope you look like your daddy. Even if you are a girl.
I never imagined how I would feel when I started thinking about becoming a mother, but I am so happy you decided to happen when you did. Your midwife is such a neat lady. We are excited to involve her in this precious time in our lives. So baby, just keep doin' your baby thing, and feel free to grow grow grow the best that you know how.
                                                        We love you already,

                                                                      mommy and Daddy

July 13, 2010

Horror-moans

That's my name for them anyway.
Yesterday I had a SERIOUS case of what felt like pre-mature PMS.

We had a big giant family home evening with the Meyers that are in mesa, and the Meyers that came down from UT for a week. I was glad to see them, but the smallest things set me off.

 hopefully these scenarios find your funny bone as they did mine this morning. apparently I have this alter-ego. She's a deep south redneck. very similar to a florida cracker. I call her "beulah" my mom has one just like her. so come and slip on my hormonal coke-bottle glasses.

I walk in the door at 6:30 and dish myself some dinner as we were apologizing for being late, and then somebody chimes in " yeah, dinner was like.. an HOUR ago". 

 beulah: well NO SHEEIT, sherlawk. Do we really owe YOU an explan-a-Shien? I don' thank so.
  Me:  I say nothing.

an in-law walks into the house hacking their brains out. he was in the hospital for two days with pneumonia this past week. the poor guy. I'm sitting on the couch, and the guy starts coughing while standing over me. he has his mouth covered but....

beulah: " DUDE. what in the HAIL do you thank yer doin? yer prak-tik-lee coughin' raght in muh face, and you were in the hospital TWO days ago with kin-tay-jus NUH moan yuh. you got any brains at all? yew could put ME inna hospital, you AYUSSHOWL!"

me: I give a slight wince, and discreetly scoot towards the edge of the couch to "rub" my feet.

When asked where he might have gotten sick from....

Beulah: " SEAREEUHSLY? have you BEE-YEN to their hause? that place is a day-um health hazerd! they make sanford and son's luk like better homes and gardens"

Me: I act genuinely interested, but say nothing.

A nephew brought a friend to FHE....

Beulah: "that kid's ugly and annoyin' as hail."

me: I give him a rice crispy treat.

A nephew sits next to me on the couch....

Beulah: " um.... did I SAY you could sit there? yer feet smell like they have been up your ayuss ALL DAY"

me: " hey (insert name here). how are you?"

luckily, beulah is more thought than heard publicly. She makes her public appearences every so often, mostly when I get really mad.
Beulah takes no crap from anyone, is NEVER afraid to speak her mind, and she is perfectly content with giving little old ladies the finger when they cut her off in traffic.