April 21, 2011

wowzer.

This was me at 210 pounds:
 cookie in hand and everything! mind you, I was carrying a 8 pound 4 ounce human being inside of me at the time of this picture.

I was also in labor when this picture was taken.
I gained a whopping 60 pounds during my pregnancy.
I stepped on my bathroom scale 4 hours after the birth(which I did at home)and I weighed 180 pounds. 
As My sweet baby and I taught each other how to breastfeed, I lost tons of water weight, and of course, the breastfeeding burns an amazing amount of calories.

  This is an AWFUL picture (kinda glad it's blurry, but you can still see my size), but this is us eight days later, and I weighed 174 pounds.



At almost 3 months post-partum, I have hit my plateau at 165. I have not lost anymore. and so this is the start of my journey back to THIS body:
 This was me on my wedding day. 120 pounds of perfection. those pants were a size 4. I gained 30 pounds in 2 years of marriage.

i guess 50 pounds is a big deal, so I thought I'd hold myself more accountable if I blogged about it 

I know what I need to do- DOING it is the hard part. it's ALWAYS the doing that's the hardest for me.
This week I WILL: drink more water.

April 12, 2011

Starting over

Paxton is asleep. My house is a garbage tip. My insides are a mess.


My coping skills need to be dusted off.

I've really been struggling lately. I started going into detail, but at the risk of boring you all to death, I'll just keep it short.I guess I'm more private than I thought. Or just too lazy, probably.

I'm starting over.
 I don't like the person I've become, and I'm going into a "rehab" of sorts.

I've repented, but still need some more repenting to do.
I HAVE TO RE-BUILD MY TESTIMONY FROM SCRATCH.
I have to re-build my marriage from scratch.
I am re-building my life from ashes.

Please pray for me.

I can't do this alone.