June 9, 2011

Landslide.

If any of you "followers" out there know me via Facebook, most of you are aware that my husband and I recently got back from our florida vacation. We Stayed in my hometown- Mostly to see family, but also to see whomever wanted to see us. 



It felt so good to be around my family again.I was really missing my mom and siblings. 

My Dad hasn't changed. I'm tired of being tactful when it comes to talking about my father. Or for anything else for that matter.
I was really heartbroken and very hurt that regardless of family- nobody went out of their way to visit us- or even asked to meet somewhere for that matter. And the ones who said they would- are just a bunch of liars. I even had 1 person I used to be close with look me in the eyes and just walk away like I wasn't even there. ANd then my Dad Decided to be an @$$hole the entire time my mom was on vacation and home with us. That probably hurt the most. That being said- screw you all.

"friends" and even some family seem to slip through my fingers constantly. I seem to not be good enough to be reached out to or invited anywhere. That has been ruined by you know who. Family seems to be a non-sentimental organization for him. The only thing he seems to be loyal to is the recliner and plasma TV. 



Needless to say, it will take a while before I work up enough desire to ever go back to Tampa.
My family is falling apart, as well.
I'm just really angry. With a lot of people. For a lot of things.
but that's another blog post. Or a whole other blog (that's actually not a bad Idea)

I feel like Stevie Nicks did when she was writing Landslide. 
Her career was starting to crumble along with everything else.A whole world of change was at her feet, and the way she got it to turn out the way she wanted was by writing about it.

" can I handle the changing ocean tides? can I handle the seasons of my life? mm mmm, I don't know."



4 comments:

  1. I'm sorry it turned out less than great! I am sure your Mom LOVED seeing you. And we were happy to hang out with you here in P-Town! Come again and we shall go to lunch! :)

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  2. It is never the same when you go back and I think that is a good thing. It helps us be more comfortable in our life as it is - not as it was. Does that make sense?

    I am so sorry that you had to learn the cruel reality that everyone does friendship differently-and sometimes what we think are friends are really acquaintances.

    I miss your guts and I am anxious to come see you again soon. I need to save my money so I can go out again.

    I love you -kiss the man child and hubby for me! Ma

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  3. I'm so sorry you were hurt and felt that no one cared enough to visit you. But in an effort to think optimistically and be devil's advocate, maybe people were trying to be respectful of the time you had with your family and didn't want to interrupt or intrude.
    I know I would have loved to see you and your sweet family but I personally didn't know what else you had going on. I know that living far away from home can be tough and sometimes when you get back to visit, you just want to enjoy the short amount of quality time that you have with family. It can get stressful to try to divide your time between family and friends and try to please everyone that wants to spend time with you. Perhaps your friends were waiting on a call from you?
    I love and appreciate your honesty and think that is a quality to be cherished. Don't take it personally that the visits from friends were not what you expected. As your mom said, it is a tough part of growing up to realize that those who were friends once sometimes become acquantainces. Life changes and circumstances change and people will always come and go.
    You have family and friends that love you and will always be there. Sometimes you find that those people are not the ones you thought they were.

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  4. Again, I'm sorry! Man...I hope you don't mind, but I'm creeping your blog...and it is interesting, even though I haven't known you or your family my whole life, I think that we may have something in common: Chambers...

    Sometimes I really wonder what happened in our Parents' (your dad's and my mom's family)...From the sound of it, my mom and your dad have a bit in common...too much to say in a comment, fo sho.
    -catania

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