This morning, I'm a little bitter.
John and I have been trying to get Pax on a sleep schedule, and last night was the worst night we have ever had. Ever.
I've been reading a book called "The no-cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth Pantley, to try and get our bedtime circumstances under control. Her emphasis is on a sleep-associating nightly bedtime routine. Supposedly, if your baby knows that you read a book and take a bath before going to sleep- they will put themselves to sleep when the time comes. I liked her theories because she is against the cry it out mindset. I am too. I think letting your baby cry until they fall asleep is selfish and cruel, not to mention permanently damaging. There is heavy research that supports my views, as well.
That being said, Bedtime with Paxton the last few weeks has been hard. I came very close to putting him in his own room with the door closed and just letting him cry because I didn't know what else to do.
We started him on a regular routine, and made sure to give him lots of extra attention during the day.
Paxton slept a wonderful 6 hour stretch 2 nights ago, and I thought to myself "this could really be working".
So last night, We started our routine at 7 pm and he was soundly sleeping by 8:15. Awesome.
We came up to bed at 10:45. Pax woke up 15 minutes later. Then again at 12:00am, 1:15, 3:15, 4:00 and 5:30 this morning. He squirmed the whole time in between, making it virtually impossible for either John or I to get decent sleep. From 5:30 he slept until 9. That's why I feel slightly human this morning.
As I was trying to put him back to sleep over and over, the thoughts of just letting him cry came to mind. I thought to myself " Why is it that when I try to make the right choices, it seems like there are no rewards."
Not just with sleeping. In most of the other choices we made for our parenting style, we are criticized- and it's HARD. we chose the hard road, and I am waiting ever so patiently for the part where I feel like it was worth it.
This has been a common trend in my life. Although as a kid, my parents didn't teach me how to make the right choices on my own. I was always compelled to make them, and that is why I have never felt the reward.