Showing posts from 2012

Holiday recap and other happenings

Sometimes I hate Christmas.
 It was a special time for me as a kid, but after Emily died, my expectations were never met (not even talking gifts, here), and I was always disappointed. I was ripped away from the only family I knew, only to create traditions that I did not enjoy. This year I was EXCITED. Really excited to be around my husband's family and to enjoy my time with all of them for the first time ever. Christmas started out great. I skyped with my mom and She got to watch Paxton open his Christmas presents. All was going well until later that evening. John spent our gift money on me, so we were not able to get gifts for everyone. (Paxton did manage to get a gift for all his cousins, though. the dollar store is a wonderful thing) So I had this idea to write a letter to the whole family. My goal was to bring to light their strengths because sometimes I feel like I hear more negative things about them. So I shared some really private things about my life with them. Things…

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Hello all,

Let's cut to the chase. We have another baby on the way!
Miracles happen and this pregnancy is one of them.

Please pray for john and I. We have a lot of changes that need to happen before she ( I hope) gets here, including but no limited to trading in our car for a van, purchasing a double stroller, and The most important being, finding a home to birth in. I doubt any if you forgot, but I plan on doing a home birth at all costs with all of my children. We just don't know where home is going to be. The way I see it, we have 2 options:
1. Buying a house before June 30th
2. checking in to a luxury hotel with a swimming pool sized bath tub.

I hope for the first, but wouldn't mind the second.

We are otherwise thrilled, and we wish everyone a happy holiday season, and a very Merry Christmas.

Catch -up

It's been a long time since I posted something up here. My life has been consumed by putting more effort into my other blog. It's doing pretty good. Obviously, I haven't made the "oh my gosh, your that one girl from that one cool blog" reaction from perfect strangers yet, but I might get there one day.

School is good. I really like what I am learning, and even better, I am getting awesome grades.
I take theory tests almost weekly, and so far, I've aced them all. I hope to be considered for  a scholarship in January. I will be accepting clients in January :)

John is busy. The weeks fly by because we are so busy. I can't believe it's october already!
He has Work/ volunteering/internship in the morning, then school in the afternoon. He has no school on friday, which is nice. We see each other in the morning for a few minutes, and then for an hour after I get home with Pax-man.

We bought John a scooter because there was no way we would be able to coordina…

This is what a normal day looks like (honestly)

7:00 am
wake up to a goodbye kiss from John and promptly fall back asleep.
wake up and lay in bed for another half hour due to sheer laziness and lack of will to move my body.
9:00 am
wake up and sneak downstairs without bothering to put on clothes.
go back upstairs because I haven't mastered ninja abilities, and woke pax up with my monster footsteps.
Check Pax' diaper. If not at full capacity, come back in 10 minutes.
9: 35
Turn on Curious George and hop on Facebook to see what transpired overnight.
Change Paxton's diaper.
give him breakfast

if he's nice about it, nurse him.

eat a bag of potato chips.

sit on couch and start the "how I met your mother" marathon.

snoop in the kitchen for food. Full fridge, but still nothing to eat.

eat 6 slices of toast and get my crumbs all over the couch and in my sweaty cleavage.

 Feed Paxton while multi-tasking as his jungle gym.

While netflix is still bla…

Summer Bummer and total randomness

WARNING: gloriously long post about nothing important.

I just realized that this is my 99th post since I started this blog. I decided to have a Poll. What should my 100th post be about? Since I don't get many questions or comments, I am willing to take requests. Is there something you want to know about me that I haven't openly divulged already? or should I do something funny? let me know in the comments!


Many of you have probably been wondering how our summer is going. I started Beauty school on June 4th, and life has been busy. At school we are learning "Chemical re-texturing of the hair" so basically, perming and relaxing. So far, I have taught myself everything I know, and I am ahead of everyone in class. It's been frustrating for me because I get bored if I am not being challenged enough or if I can't go at my pace. It's also frustrating because the teacher is not doing her job correctly. If I wanted to teach myself cosmetology, I wouldn'…

Pax-man at 15 months

I keep a journal for Paxton. I write in it every month. I figured, if I am going to do all the same things for all of my children, I had better start out realistically. I thought I'd share his 15 month milestones with y'all.

We went to the doc on Friday and got some stats.
Height: 76 centimeters - 20th percentile (not surprising)
Weight: 20.8 pounds- 10th percentile  (also not surprising)
head circ. 50 centimeters
6 teeth
3 head injuries

anecdotes of the pax-man:
yesterday he said "cookie" as clear as day when we handed him a chips ahoy chewy.
Sleeping through the night in his own bed
talks in his sleep
blows kisses
gives hugs on request
will lean in and let you kiss HIM when you ask for one.
dances to any music or rythmic noises he hears,such as a hammer pounding upstairs, or the washing machine on the spin cycle
does a dance when he gets excited about something (think Maniac from flashdance)
Loves to cuddle with his bear- which is freaking adorable
LOVES to be outs…


I've been agonizing over my life (specifically, why I do the things I do, and how to make it stop) for what seems like forever. I realized that I have learned a lot about myself, and have experienced things that are important for me to become the person I want to be. I still have a long way to go.

I try to seek things that will help me in the process. Honestly, I wonder if I would be ahead of this "game " if I had not been so rebellious towards heavenly Father and actually sought out his help. I really struggle with that. I struggle to be close to him. I am full of shame, and sometimes I wonder if I am worth loving.  I know what the scriptures say- Nothing could separate us from the love of God ( Somewhere in Romans, I think) and I know this to be true for everyone else. It's not so difficult for me to understand that he loves everyone even though many blatantly deny that he exists and do everything in their power to go completely against any sort of higher being.  …

Summertime and Beauty school

I've been gone for a while. Time for an end-of-the-semester summary and a general  forecast for the summer.

School. is. out. HOORAH!  Even though the Arizona summers are ungodly, I have come to relish this time of year. I honestly don't remember last summer. I just remember we had a lot going on. We had several visitors, and went on a trip as a family to my hometown- Tampa, Florida.

This summer I find myself going "now what?"
I am a creature of constant changes, and my life feels full and productive when It is kept busy.

John is done with School and will be returning to work for General Dynamics full-time this summer. His job has been a huge blessing, and we are expecting to see a raise soon.

Paxton is Paxton. He is into everything and is such an endearing little boy. He is full of energy and we adore him.

Online schooling has been somewhat difficult. Many of you may not know this about me, but my Dad took me out of school at the very end of my 4th grade year. The 11…


I have come to the realization that spring is my favorite time of year. Things of great value in my life are commonly associated with the springtime.

The first, being the newness of all things. Flowers poke through the ground, and new leaves appear on the trees. Birds build their nests, and the world seems to flourish in front of my eyes.

Second, General Conference. I have not always been a conference person. Matter of fact, when I was a kid I dreaded it. Conference meant we had to sit still through 2 hours of old men talking about Jesus in mono-tone voices. BORING. I would have loved to stay home and be confined to my bedroom, instead.
As I got older, I started getting excited about it, and looking forward to it.  Now, conference means something totally different. I feel my spirit slowly dwindling, and when I think I can't take it anymore, lo and behold, conference is just around the corner. It's always perfect timing.

Third, Easter. Easter has been on my list of favorite &qu…


I am in a major funk these days. and when I say "these days" I mean for the past year. It may not come as a surprise to the few people who are a part of my personal life, but my parents are getting a divorce. They have been separated for at least two months now.

Not that this divorce hasn't been desperately needed, because it is. It's just been ugly and painful. I am sad because I am across the country from my family, and my heart breaks that I can't be there to comfort and support where it is needed. This upheaval has stirred many heartbreaking memories, and I am constantly bottled up with many emotions. Most of them being anger. Which is kind of a new thing for me.

Something that has really frustrated me is the way I have been coping with them as of late. Netflix. Pinterest.. Stalking people I used to know on Facebook... and youtube. I watch a LOT of makeup and beauty tutorials on youtube. More than I care to admit. I call all this "numbing" because …


I just finished writing a paper for my english class, and I wanted to update about my new year's resolutions while I had a few seconds to myself.

Trying to get gifts to EVERYONE of my loved ones on time is just not going to work. I should have known better. I HAVE been successful in remembering every body's birthday so far. Whether it's been a facebook message, a card, a text, or a hug, I have remembered!

now that I have gotten that off my chest, I wanted to give a brief update on my goal to be more positive. So far, I am doing alright. I have slipped here and there, but I am noticing that the quarrels I have with my husband last for about 30 seconds, and then everything is back to the way it was. Quick healing. Not trying to get pity from anyone, But I had a miscarriage earlier this week, and it has made me think very deeply about my life and role as a mother. I know what I want, but I know that heavenly father has plans for me, as well. I want to do what I can to do what…


Began preparations for Paxton to be born
Quit my job with mesa public schools
Mom came for a visit
Had my 21st birthday
John started a new semester at ASU and went to work full-time for General Dynamics

Paxton was born!
Mom went back home (boo)
I had breastfeeding issues

Went on my first grocery shopping adventure as a mother
Paxton's baby blessing
Delighted in a really good shamrock shake
Went to Utah to see family and friends

Hot enough to swim and take Pax into the pool.
Cousin Emily came to play!

Uncle Alan and Uncle Mike came to visit from Australia
Naomi and Jared came to visit from Portland
John, Paxton, and I went to Florida for 10 days to see my family

June, July, and August were spent indoors or in pool. Who wants to brave 118 degree weather? not me. My Sister in- law Cynthia, and all her kids came to visit. I love them. Celebrated Tiffany's birthday while the in-laws were at a High school reunion in Utah.  Another year of school started at…