This is what a normal day looks like (honestly)

7:00 am
wake up to a goodbye kiss from John and promptly fall back asleep.
8:30
wake up and lay in bed for another half hour due to sheer laziness and lack of will to move my body.
9:00 am
wake up and sneak downstairs without bothering to put on clothes.
9:15
go back upstairs because I haven't mastered ninja abilities, and woke pax up with my monster footsteps.
9:30
Check Pax' diaper. If not at full capacity, come back in 10 minutes.
9: 35
Turn on Curious George and hop on Facebook to see what transpired overnight.
9:40
Change Paxton's diaper.
9:45
give him breakfast

10:00
if he's nice about it, nurse him.

10:05
eat a bag of potato chips.

10:06
sit on couch and start the "how I met your mother" marathon.

12:00pm
snoop in the kitchen for food. Full fridge, but still nothing to eat.

12:01
eat 6 slices of toast and get my crumbs all over the couch and in my sweaty cleavage.

12:05
 Feed Paxton while multi-tasking as his jungle gym.

1:00
While netflix is still blaring, turn on my laptop.

1:01
Check my email. Oh, right. Nobody sends me emails.

1:02 Hop on facebook. If nothing has changed since the last time I checked Facebook, I go "Troy Dunn" and see if I can stalk people I haven't seen or even thought of in years. Usually, all my past love interests.
 2:00
Watch a series of YouTube videos about other's lives instead of living mine.
2:30
Put paxton in a choke hold until he falls asleep. Then put him in crib.
3:00
Put clothes on for school. yeah, I should probably draw my eyebrows back on. They freak out about stuff like that....
 4:00
Put a smile over the gaping hole that guilt has dug once John walks in the door. Pretend to have done something constructive.

4:20 Get in car and drive to school.
4:30-8:00
Waste my time trying to teach myself how to perm.
8:10
Waste my time waiting in line to clock out form school.
8:30
I walk in the door to happy boys who still haven't eaten supper.

8:35
attempt to make a quick supper.

9:00
dinner is served

9:30
Paxton is put to bed without a bath

9:35- 10:35
john and I argue until we are too exhausted to keep it up.

11:00pm
we fall asleep annoyed with each other.







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