November 16, 2014

Family update

I used to be so good at keeping up with this blog.

erry' body is blogging these days.

So what's new?
Just a few days before Emberlee turned 1, John' parent's home of over 20 years burned down, and they lost just about everything except some key treasured items and the clothes on their back.

We sold our house in September, and while searching for a new place, lived with John's best friend. Just two days before we were to close on our town home, a huge storm came into the valley and flooded so many homes that FEMA had officially declared it a national state of emergency. Since we had just moved out of the townhouse, all of our belongings were moved into a storage unit, and the other half was stored in the shed at my Sister Kara & Brother in-law Mark's house. Both locations got extensive flooding, and we lost many of our belongings, including all our furniture (specifically our nice king size bed) except the kitchen table and two dressers. Many of my childhood treasures were destroyed, along with our wedding guestbook. And completely unrelated, I confirmed my decision to take a step away from the Church. I don't feel like these events were punishment or testimony strengthening- just life events in a cause and effect world, and though it was hard, I still dealt with it the same way I have always dealt with hard times.

We had two homes fall through, but quickly and quite easily got into another. We moved into our new home on October 29th, in the shadow of south mountain in Phoenix. We have a good sized corner lot, with rose bushes, fruit trees, pepper plants, and some other herbs already growing on our property. There are granite counters and a gas stove/oven in the kitchen. It's taking a lot more work and a little more money to get things feeling like "home" due to how dirty the house was left, and just replacing some items we lost in the flood. There seems to be a bit of a roach problem, but I think when we get all our boxes unpacked and things cleaned up more, it should remedy the problem. Our street has a surprising amount of foot-traffic, but it's incredibly quiet. No loud music into the wee hours at all. The commute to John's office is the best part- it takes 3 minutes. He has even walked. We have a fry's, target, ross, chipotle, safeway, a public park , community pool, and the public library all within 1 square mile. The school we want Paxton to go to is about two miles away, along with an organic farm/ market. So needless to say, we really like the location. We are close enough to the really nice neighborhoods to be out of trouble, but far away enough to have such an inexpensive purchase price. We got our home for $85k.

We are excited to have my Dad come to visit us for Thanksgiving in a few weeks, and to travel to Florida with him for Christmas. I hope to be starting at South mountain community college and hopefully start a part-time job in the winter when we come back from Florida.

We have had some difficult times, but we are grateful that we are alive and our family members are safe.

May 20, 2014

My body is a temple

I've been slowly getting back into shape. I give myself about 12 months to loose my babyweight, so things go pretty slow. I loose a bunch right after I have my babies, and plateau until about 8 months postpartum, when they get teeth and my cycle comes back. My weight loss accelerates once that happens.

I've been helping it along with regular exercise, which is something I am not accustomed to. Eating well is more of my forte.

I started lifting weights with John 3 times a week, and it's been an amazing journey to watch my body change in the subtlest ways. so subtle, that I feel like I would not notice them if I wasn't so aware of my body. Today I decided to go on a little run because I was feeling depleted and run-down emotionally. I slid on my slick black (maybe not the best choice for 100 degree weather) compression workout capri pants, and they went on like butter instead of sausage casing. I admired the reduction of my thighs and how the waistband lay flat on my waist without causing muffin-top, and smiled.
I went downstairs and announced to john that all my clothes are fitting better, but my workout pants were the most dramatic measuring tool in my closet.

I was feeling pretty awesome about my body, for the first time in 10 months, and satan took notice.

I wish women all over the world would realize that all body-centered opposition is one of satan's tools, and probably the one he uses the most. He targets women because they create and sustain life with their body. He perverts sex  because it is the highest expression of love, and he KNOWS it is a window into the eternities. He plauges us with eating disorders, addiction, illnesses and negative thoughts because he doesn't have a body, and he wants us to be miserable, like himself.

If I hadn't' known this about Satan and his lies, my experience on my run would have been far more sad and traumatizing than it was.

School had just been let out, and I made it through the first crowd of kids, noticing that the sun beating down on me was draining my energy reserves. I knew I would be walking most of the time.

I made it down another street, and stopped running right by my bishop's house, and I could see a group of 3 kids straggling along, stopping in a person's yard to read a sign posted. I didn't slow my pace, and the timing lead us to walking pretty much together. I was behind them, and it was awkward, so I started running again, and as i ran past, within earshot, one of the kids said "oh my God,look at her fat ass!" and the other two roared with laughter.

A few things went through my head, the first being, "keep running." so I did.
The next thing was, "they have no idea what a fat ass looks like if they think mine is." and the last being " even if my ass is fat, at least I'm out here working on it."

I contemplated what just took place, justifying their words and keeping the positive self talk going.

But it still made me feel sad. Not sad because they hurt my feelings, but sad for them. they live in a completely different world than I do. not just in maturity, but in societal understanding. to them, the skinny girls on fashion magazine covers are normal and healthy, and they haven't even reached puberty and the body confusion that comes with it. I know for a fact that this experience will stick with them throughout their lives, just like it will for me. But, unlike them, I have the truth, and that has made this experience a positive and humbling one for me.