Showing posts from May, 2015

God, are you there?

As long as I'm striving to be honest, I may as well get this out. Since leaving facebook, I doubt anyone comes around here, but I write for me.

the last 2 weeks or so have been really hard. John got hit with an illness that took over a week to recover from, and passed it on to me and Emberlee, which took another week for me to recover from.
Fevers, coughs, sinus pressure, sneezing.... it was awful. I wasn't sleeping which made it so much worse. I went into urgent care because tylenol wasn't reducing my fever effectively, so I got an antibiotic and felt better pretty quickly after that. I don't normally reduce fevers, but since I'm pregnant I really had no choice.

I'm so completely depleted. I've been laid up with a mysterious case of dizziness that has yet to go away nearly a week later. I went to the doctor thinking it was vertigo, but it's not. We still don't know why I'm dizzy in my sleep and sensitive to light. I've had these symptoms …

My name is Tessa, and I have a problem.

*** Trigger warning : depression, anxiety, mental illness, suicidal thoughts, death, pregnancy, miscarriage ***

This is the Long  story of how social media triggered my mental illness. Specifically facebook and my experience with depression and anxiety.

*I have never been diagnosed with chronic depression or anxiety, but I have been treated for the symptoms of both. While I believe that we are allowed to feel sad without getting slapped with a label and a prescription, I do also know that there are cases when it is needed. Fortunately my pregnancy saved me from being medicated.

I noticed my habits for the first time in September of 2014...
John and I had just sold our home, and had moved into a temporary residence with our good friends.
I was making a lot of big decisions at that time, and the move made leaving the church a lot easier to do. Our records were still in our old ward, but we were attending a new ward as we looked for a new home. I took advantage of this and purposely slippe…