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Showing posts from September, 2015

#winning

I may have said this before, but it doesn't matter how many statistics I know, or how well I prepare my body- or even the fact I've done this smoothly twice before; but I still have fears around having babies. This is my third pregnancy, and my midwife calls me a "seasoned professional" at natural childbirth, but I feel like I am on total recall. This feels like my first time. I have so many questions and concerns, and every bump and click and pain I feel puts me in a state of concern.

This pregnancy has had a lot of trauma for me, with my marriage nearly ending and with unexplained health concerns coming up along the way.  Having the baby on the outside brings a whole knew list of challenges and struggles that I will possibly have to handle, and I just fear the transition will be unmanageable on my own. I fear that the state my body was in at the time of conception, and through this pregnancy will negatively affect my outcome. I fear that the state of my emotions d…