I really need to make writing in my journal a lot more appealing so I can commit to writing in it daily. I get so bogged down with thoughts that really need to come out so often, that I should be writing daily, but somehow things get in the way, or the feelings aren't urgent enough to stop and take a moment to jot down my feelings when they happen. Most of the time. these strong feelings accumulate and pile on top of each other, until I can't function unless I write them out, and this blog has become that outlet for the giant pile of feelings, matter of fact, most of my post titles, or even the name of this blog could be "giant pile of feelings" but no, I have to go all Tessa on it and try to be witty at all costs.
I was at Time out for women this weekend (just got home actually) and a comment was made in jest that a blog is just a public journal for you to vent your problems to. It made me feel kind of guilty. I have a hard enough time with keeping a blog due to the fact that everyone else has one, (cause I love being original) and now the way I use my blog was being mocked.
Thing is, I don't write for other people. Most of my posts are for myself, and that is because it feels absolutely stifling to keep what I have learned to myself, and it helps ease my sense of isolation and loneliness as well. Regardless of how gloomy it it sometimes, and how serious it is all of the time, It is a tool I use to really process some hard things I may or may not have come out on the other side of. It's a place I organize my life lessons.
I've gotten a lot of those lessons just within the last few weeks. In the period since my last post and today, I have learned a few things that I want to be transparent about, But I think I will break each down into different posts, otherwise this would be a painfully long post.
Now that I've validated myself and my purposes for this blog, I'll move on.